MY GIST: How woman make me waka Cross River state for di first time


Before I even go far, I go confess to una say na woman carry me go Obudu, Cross River for di first time for dis my life.

But oyibo man go call am “love”.

I don dey plan dis trip for months.

Di waka na sake of say, I wan go see my babe family for di first time.

As man don dey old, I say make I begin plan to ‘jump broom’ (marry).

Babe wey I meet for NYSC camp, go soon turn my wife. E be me like ‘Nollywood tori’ abi?.

Anyways, dis no be love story. Dis na story of how Cross River make sense and how I take enjoy the zone.

I rush enta airport before I go hear story.

Airport people make me comot shoe, like say I be terrorist. Las las, man pikin pass dem test.


One hour and some minutes, Odogwu land Calabar. Small airport but e no bad.

As I land, Bae dey call me for video call.

BAE: You don land?

ME: Yes.

BAE: Where you dey?

ME: I dey toilet dey piss.

BAE: You hold you box so? Make dem no tiff am oh!

AHH! I cut my piss, tear race go carry my box. Before I hear say monkey born one, two die, one loss.

I comot for airport na hotel straight.

We drive reach Marian Hotel. From wetin I see, na past glory dey sustain dis hotel.

Di hotel no sad but no be classy hotel sha.


Next day, mans enta moto dey go Obudu. I siddon for car sotey my nyash nearly tear.

From Calabar to Obudu na nearly 10 hours (for my head shaa). E go be like 7 hours.

But during the trip, I come dey wonder why dis kontiri dey suffer. Naija gada plenty resources, na only political leaders dey miss.

Las las, I enjoy the ride down to Obudu. All di names of places wey I dey read for newspaper, I pass dem that day.

Palm trees wey choke streets, I come dey wonder why palm oil go cost.

Palm trees on my way to Obudu.
Palm trees on my way to Obudu.

I land Obudu. Hunger wan tear my belle but Mama serve me beta pounded yam and okro soup.

My people, leave mata for Matthias.


Obudu people dey homely.

Truly I understand say Naija get different kain culture. If you neva waka am, you no go understand.

The clamour to divide Naija no easy las las. Everybodi need each oda.

I chop different kain food wey I neva chop before. Soups wey make sense, you go sell yaself.

Ekpankukwo, Cross Riverian delicacy.
Ekpankukwo, Cross Riverian delicacy.

I relax for Obudu reach five days till I enta di famous Obudu Cattle Ranch.

As a first timer, people yan me say di place done spoil but my eyes see something dat day.

Obudu Mountain Resort signage.
Obudu Mountain Resort signage.

Di beauty of nature for di ranch is unexplanable till you see am yourself. Green grass, cold weather, fat cows, sparkiling water.


According to tori, from ground to di top na 11KM.

Di road be like snake. You go turn-turn till eye pain you, head go join swell.

If you no be expert driver, bobo, no do pass yaself.

Road to Obudu Cattle Rancd, 11KM from ground up.
Road to Obudu Cattle Rancd, 11KM from ground up.

Even as di place done sour, e still beautiful.

Sweet weather, beautiful view….

Obudu Cattle Ranch, Obudu.
Obudu Cattle Ranch, Obudu.

If you get wahala, the moment you dey there, you go forget am.

True-true, God go forgive our leaders.

The ranch get cabins wey fit contain people. If you and your sisi wan relax, una fit pay for a night or two. Inside the cabins dey comfortable and nice.

Obudu Cattle Ranch, Obudu.
Obudu Cattle Ranch, Obudu.

Once you sight di cabins, you go understand say na oyibo man concept dem construct for there and e make sense.

Obudu Cattle Ranch cabins
Obudu Cattle Ranch cabins

Di Ranch get water side wey dey rush from di hills. E also get small pond wey mans fit swim inside as you dey grills meat.

Water side at the ranch
Water side at the ranch
Water side at the ranch
Water side at the ranch


Afta plenty jolly, my time for Cross River don dey run out. I enta road go back Calabar.

As I land, I enta di famous “Marina Resort”. Again, my mind spoil. I dey ask myself why black man be like dis.

God carry beta country give us but na we be our own problem.

Marina Resort na water side with beta view. E get cinema wey no dey work plus most of di speed boats done spoil. Na caneo remain.

Marina Resort, Calabar.
Marina Resort, Calabar.
Marina Resort, Calabar.
Marina Resort, Calabar.


In conclusion, Cross River na fine place with fantastic people.

You no need too much to make the place fine as na place wey di people also like to chop life.

I enta Abuja feeling happy say I visit di state.

But las-las, hustle continua!

Eye Wey Sabi
Live your happiest life. Pray to God and be kind to others. Hit me up on Twitter @GarnishMaster.


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